Tonight I went to visit my grandparents. I try to go every week. I am always tired at the end of a long day at work but when I get home I wrangle up the kids and make the drive - with or without my husband. It is always worth it.
We are greeted at the front door of the residence by several ladies who like to say hi to us and who enjoy chatting with the kids. Then we take the familiar elevator ride up to the fourth floor. My favorite thing is when there is another elevator rider and in 'Shauna fashion' all three kids stare, wide-eyed at our fellow traveller. Then if the doors open on another floor to let the other passenger off Jenna loudly proclaims "That not right!" After a few reassurances we carry on to the top floor of the building where Jenna lets us know "This right."
The kids run down the long hall and then ring the doorbell. Grandpa is always waiting and opens the door with a joyful hello. We all take our shoes off and I kick the randomly dropped items under the hall table so that no one trips over our collection of shoes. We have of course all worn our shorts and t-shirts as Grandpa and Grandma keep their suite at about 85 degrees. We are all typically rosy cheeked by the time we leave.
I have given the kids the usual lecture on what kind of visit this will be (calm and quiet) and that we will leave in one hour - so please don't ask me every five minutes. We talk about how many treats will be eaten, how many will be saved and how when you are talking to Grandpa or Grandma you must use your loud, clear voice and be sure to point your body toward them. Once the rules are clear we find our seats and begin our visit.
We catch up on the events of the week, who is doing what, how school and sports are going and what Jenna's latest antics are. We hear the adventures of the week that they have had. My favorite part is where I tell Grandma and Grandpa what I am struggling with. They are a wise sounding board for me with over 180 years of wisdom between them. Tonight I shared with them that Jasper has been having nightmares and has been up nearly every hour, or more, all through the night for the last six weeks. Grandma shared with me that she too had similar vivid nightmares when she was that age. She said that her dad would sit up with her in the night, hold her hand and reassure her that she would be okay. She said that they were vivid dreams, terrifying and real. She told me that even when she was roused she could not distinguish what was reality and what was a nightmare.
I am always reassured that nothing changes over the years. Even as we explain ipods and how incredible technology is now - nothing has changed relationally. A dad is still your best defense against your worst nightmares. A parent holding your hand is still your greatest ally in the dark. And perhaps most importantly for me, a parent will survive without sleep, in the name of defense against fear - both real and imagined.
I can picture Herman there, in the dark, reassuring his daughter. He was an incredible father. He gave everything to be with her. I can picture the room, the bed, the quilt, I can see him on his knees in prayer, holding her hand and comforting her through the terrifying nights. I hope that I can do the same... when I am at my wits end with getting up, I hope I can embrace it so that one day when Jasper is a Great Grandpa he can say to his Great Grandchild, my mother and dad were always there for me. I had terrifying, vivid nightmares but they were always there, telling me that it was going to be okay. They spent the wee hours in prayer - so that I would have peace in the night.
Thank you God for the gift of generations. Thank you for my Grandparents. Let me make each day a thread that will weave the legacy of who we are as a family.
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